May 12

Psalms 55, 58, 61, 62, 63; 2 Samuel 17:24-18:18; I Chronicles 2:17

I imagine most of us have felt what David felt when he wrote Psalm 55. His heart was in anguish. He was terrified and overwhelmed. And he said… Oh that I had the wings of a dove! I’d fly away and be at rest.

I don’t know about you, but there have been times in my life when a pair of wings would have come in handy. But I’ve discovered there are other methods of escape. I can lock myself away and turn off my phone. I can sit down and eat an entire box of Girl Scout cookies or Triscuits. Some people drink alcohol or do drugs to escape.

Here’s what David did. Verse 16 says… But I call to God and the Lord saves me. 

In the other psalms we read today David says things like “I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings”. “My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him”. David calls God his rock, his fortress.

Then in Psalm 63 David expresses what I think God would have me hear today. David doesn’t plead with God to change the situation. He asks God for Himself. “My soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you.” “On my bed I remember you.” “My soul clings to you”.

I am reminded that God wants to be all I need in every aspect of life. It’s easier to see him in the good things. But it’s even better to see him when I’m hurting. And you know what? He never fails.

Today is Mother’s Day and I will tell you it is not a happy day for me. I’ve never had the privilege of being a mom. My dear mother has been gone for 17 years. For reasons beyond my control I cannot have contact with my step-mother who was such a part of our lives for 12 years. And my sister is facing this day without her son. My heart is heavy and, to tell you the truth, I long for a pair of wings.

So I will run to my Rock and hide underneath his wings. I will cling to my Savior because he understands me. I will shed some tears because I am sad. But I will praise him because, even though I grieve the losses, I am blessed because of the very real privilege of having these dear ones in my life. 

God, hear my prayer today. Be my strength and my joy. Hold me while I grieve. May I allow you to be exactly what I need today. Thank you for wanting to.

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